Calum's story

Something I wrote shortly after returning home from my first BiCon, BiCon 2004 in Manchester.

A few months back, a friend asked me to consider going to BiCon. She'd been running Shamanism workshops there for the last few years, but couldn't make it this year, and wanted someone to keep the tradition alive. I'd considered going to BiCon previously, but it had never seemed important enough to actually do it. Well, she's a persuasive friend… and I soon found myself booked… and dragging Puzzle along with me.

I could talk about nearly going deaf doing bisexual speed-dating, or teaching friends how to massage. I could write about the workshop I ran, or sitting under a tree afterwards. I could write about meeting an old friend, and healing an old wound I didn't even know was there. I could write about wonderful new friends, or getting to know people deeper. I could write about wonderful discussions about polyamory, BDSM, ethics, communication, and life in general. I could write about trying to think up how many kinky things you can do with a jar of toothpicks.

But none of that would capture why BiCon was so wonderfully magical, special, uplifting space for me. For that, there is only one word. Acceptance.

It felt as though acceptance spanned every single person who was there. Whoever you were, however you identified, however you expressed yourself… others listened, and allowed you to be yourself.

That space gave me the energy I needed to spend time teaching friends massage, giving massage, receiving massage. It gave me the energy to run the shamanism workshop, and give others a glimpse of the way I see the world.

I still have that energy. Coming home is hard. BiCon is not the real world, and sooner or later there is a crunch as reality bites. But I feel strong, and empowered. I feel able to make changes in my life, even if they are difficult. I feel lucky. Fate is on my side, and all things are possible…

I'll definitely be back next year.